Buffet Buffoon Licks The Spoon

We always suspected this happens but did I really just see this happen?  As I stood in line at the breakfast buffet at LaQuinta Inn somewhere in Florida, a grey-haired gentleman with his blue blazer, obnoxious bow tie, and Nantucket red pants embroidered (while not him see picture for twin of this man) with a lobster design was bemoaning to me the fact that he was not sure if the pot in front of him was oatmeal or gravy for the biscuits.

Ummmm, Sausage gravy or is that oatmeal?

Ummmm, Sausage gravy or is that oatmeal?

So without hesitation, he took the public serving spoon, dipped it in the pot and sampled a taste putting it back down with disappointment in his eyes.  He then mentioned to me, that in fact, it was not oatmeal.  Now I’m still trying to wake up and I’m quite groggy but I’m not taking any chances on what I thought I witnessed and while I appreciate his help since I really love biscuits and gravy, I decided to take a pass on that meal choice.  AAAAAARP’d Again!

After that, I’m thinking, what the hell should I do?  I guess I have to alert the management to remove the spoon.  Well, LaQuinta isn’t a cheaply priced hotel for no reason, not an employee in sight.  So in my shock and panic, I did what most people would do, I did nothing. Oh well, the poor suckers behind me are shit out of luck.  So life lesson here kids, for the rest of my life I will only eat the boxed cereal at these places, you might too.

BobJokeTooMuch

It’s All About Me, Me, Me, Me, Me.  Who the heck is the Bob behind BobJokeTooMuch.com....edy and do you really want to know?  Anyway………

My name is Bob and I’ve been told I joke too much.  The naming of my website came from my trip to Nepal when after the first couple of days trekking to the Mt. Everest Base Camp our Sherpa Guide, Limbu, confided in my friend the following; “Bob is a nice guy but Bob Joke Too Much”.  Once he started to understand and/or tolerate my sarcasm (maybe 21 days in) we became good friends and supporters of his guide business.  So it all worked out but now my friend tends to remind me of that quote when I go too far with my satirical humor.

Anyway......I was born a poor black child of a sharecropper on the front porch of my home in the Mississippi Delta.  Not buying that?  OK, just a middle class, blue collar kid in an all-white, Irish Catholic neighborhood boarding the Southwest side of Chicago.  One of seven children raised by a normal Mom and Dad who obviously believed the Catholic Church recommendation of the Rhythm Method as an effective form of contraception.  My Wife, two boys and I live in Chicago.

Observing and experiencing life since 1963.  I have been extensively educated at Father Mulsoff Industrial School for Incorrigible Kid’s, Brother Duffin High School for Vulnerable Boys and The Institute for Applied Nonsense.  Note that even though the 1st two schools had known molesters as “teachers”, I was never once approached for molestation in spite of the fact that I was very susceptible, small, skinny and weak boy.  Due to current litigation against the Catholic Church for discrimination, that’s all I can say on the subject.

I have no qualifications for being a writer.  However, this will not stop me from publishing many of the yearly 17,000 thoughts that pop into my mind on the www.bobjoketoomuch.com website and anywhere else. I will cover topics including parenting, gun control, donkeys, idiots, politics, religion, racism and any other controversial subjects I find worthy in an attempt of provoking laughs, stimulating deep thinking and/or just pissing off the politically correct with my satirical prose.  My thoughts and opinions will appear on my website and all other social media outlets no matter how much a waste of time until I die.