You Have To Be A Roll "Super" Model

We have a feature in our local Grade School newspaper.  In ours, it’s called “Protégé News”. I’m guessing many schools have a similar program with news of its participants and their great experiences. I took my son, Jackson, out for his “Protégé day a few weeks ago. He submitted his Protégé day to the school, but they have not published it yet which seems odd?  I’m sure it will get published soon but like all the young impetuous kids, I have embraced the immediate gratification world we live in and therefore thought I would give you an exclusive early read. 

Kid in bar

Protégé News

My Mentor for the day was my Dad, who works as a real estate broker and home builder.  To say my day was incredible is an understatement.  My day started out late since I got to sleep in until 10 am, my Dad’s regular start time. We headed out to breakfast for a plate full of bacon and eggs.  My Dad says a big breakfast is key to a successful day.  After breakfast, we stopped by a job my dad is doing. He let me berate his sub-contractors and order adults around because my Dad is the boss, awesome.  This got us working up our appetite so we stopped for a long lunch at a place that pours the perfect Guinness.  After that, we headed home for a long nap.  My Dad said that the Japanese are so successful because they take naps.  In fact, their whole economy took a nap during the 90’s, known as the “lost decade”.  As you can tell, not only does he know a lot about real estate but worldly matters.  Waking up around 3 pm., we went back to “work” fibbing to my Mom that we were going to “put some fires out” on a job. (Did you know that’s slang for fixing problems?)  Not really, though, since my Dad knew the Gentleman’s Club has an early happy hour.  My Dad told me I have two choices when it comes to the working world.  You can work a blue collar job which is more of a real-world, hands-on job or you can work a white collar job which is more hands off office/computer work.  After several hours of cocktails and lap dances, I think I’m leaning more towards the hands-on job since it seems more real or maybe not depending on the girl.  We then staggered home anticipating a hot meal and a peaceful domestic ambiance.  My Dad told me this is what I should expect when coming home from a hard day’s work from a Wife of the new millennium.  He also told me not to marry lesser even if it means finding a subservient mail order bride from Thailand.  He also mentioned I might wake up around 10-11pm with the munchies since we passed out so early and to eat what I could find in the refrigerator, fire up the stove top if necessary and ignore any thoughts/guilt of catching up with the business’s paperwork.  The next morning I woke up with a headache but my Dad told me it eases with practice.  As you can tell I learned a lot from my Dad on this day.  He graciously shared many informative insights into not just business but life in general.   I learned that things can get frenzied in the business world but with the right attitude and approach, it can be a breeze. I will use these wise lessons for the rest of my life and be sure to pass them along to my children.


Thanks to the Protégé program, I now know exactly what I want to do with my life, be like my Dad.  He’s the best! Thanks Dad for a wonderful day.  – Jackson, 6th Grader, St. Mary’s Industrial Reformatory School for Delinquent Boys     


It’s All About Me, Me, Me, Me, Me.  Who the heck is the Bob behind and do you really want to know?  Anyway………

My name is Bob and I’ve been told I joke too much.  The naming of my website came from my trip to Nepal when after the first couple of days trekking to the Mt. Everest Base Camp our Sherpa Guide, Limbu, confided in my friend the following; “Bob is a nice guy but Bob Joke Too Much”.  Once he started to understand and/or tolerate my sarcasm (maybe 21 days in) we became good friends and supporters of his guide business.  So it all worked out but now my friend tends to remind me of that quote when I go too far with my satirical humor.

Anyway......I was born a poor black child of a sharecropper on the front porch of my home in the Mississippi Delta.  Not buying that?  OK, just a middle class, blue collar kid in an all-white, Irish Catholic neighborhood boarding the Southwest side of Chicago.  One of seven children raised by a normal Mom and Dad who obviously believed the Catholic Church recommendation of the Rhythm Method as an effective form of contraception.  My Wife, two boys and I live in Chicago.

Observing and experiencing life since 1963.  I have been extensively educated at Father Mulsoff Industrial School for Incorrigible Kid’s, Brother Duffin High School for Vulnerable Boys and The Institute for Applied Nonsense.  Note that even though the 1st two schools had known molesters as “teachers”, I was never once approached for molestation in spite of the fact that I was very susceptible, small, skinny and weak boy.  Due to current litigation against the Catholic Church for discrimination, that’s all I can say on the subject.

I have no qualifications for being a writer.  However, this will not stop me from publishing many of the yearly 17,000 thoughts that pop into my mind on the website and anywhere else. I will cover topics including parenting, gun control, donkeys, idiots, politics, religion, racism and any other controversial subjects I find worthy in an attempt of provoking laughs, stimulating deep thinking and/or just pissing off the politically correct with my satirical prose.  My thoughts and opinions will appear on my website and all other social media outlets no matter how much a waste of time until I die.